


The Downfall of Captain John

by kingoftheweevils



Category: Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: Aliens, Blood, Captain Jack Harkness - Freeform, Captain John Hart - Freeform, Death, Ianto Jones - Freeform, M/M, Owen Harper - Freeform, Planet, Retcon, Torchwood - Freeform, Tragedy, doctor who - Freeform, gay kiss, kiss, rutan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:00:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23104369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingoftheweevils/pseuds/kingoftheweevils
Summary: How did notorious Captain John Hart become the man he is today?And will he and Captain Jack Harkness deliver the goods in time?And what IS inside that backpack?
Relationships: Jack Harkness & John Hart
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is heavily based on their dynamic in the Big Finish stories (but without sexual content).  
> It's a slight background story for John Hart that I myself made up. It isn't canon.

Ever wondered how the sexy and dashing Captain John Hart came to be? Well, you certainly came to the right place!  
Let me tell you something, though.  
It's a bit of a downer.  
Get your tissues.  
Maybe some chocolates, too.  
Believe me, you're gonna need it.

It all started when a baby was born.  
The most handsome baby you've ever laid eyes on. Yeah, you guessed it! That baby was me!  
Of course, I wasn't named John Hart.

Anyway, I was born into one of the more rich families. My parents (let's name then Adam and Eve for now) seemed like kind people.  
And they were.  
Until I was about seventeen.  
Apparently they thought I was too much of a handful, so they disowned me.  
Sure, I drank. Did drugs. Looots of sex.  
But I was a good kid. Most of the time.  
That didn't stop them, though.  
And then, a couple years later, they disappeared.  
To this day, I still don't know what happened to them. And maybe I never will.


	2. Part One

“Where are we even going? We've been walking around for hours, I need a break.”  
“It's been ten minutes.”  
“Ten minutes, ten hours, what's the difference?”  
“Literally everything.”  
“Well, I still need a break. The atmosphere in here is horrible.”  
Captain John Hart stopped walking, letting a backpack that had been slung over his shoulder drop down to the ground with a heavy thud.  
“Careful with that!” the other Captain, Jack Harkness, exclaimed. “Who knows what they'll do to us if you break it!”  
“Who even are THEY? They literally haven't told us anything. For all we know, we're walking right into a gangbang.”  
“Yeah, like you'd mind that.”  
“I don't mind. But I like to come prepared.”  
Jack let out a low chuckle at that, head shaking just a little.  
“Yeah, well, I doubt it's gonna be a gangbang either way,” he replied.  
“Shame.” John let out a sigh, moving to lower himself down to the ground.  
“Hand me a bottle of water,” he ordered, hand stretching out towards the other male.  
“Could say 'please'. You know? The most magical word of all?”  
“Wateeeeeeer.” He wiggled his hand a little, letting out a exaggerated sigh when Jack didn't hand him what he wanted. “P l e a s e. There. You happy now?”  
“Overjoyed. Delighted. R a p t u r o u s.” He was grinning a wide grin, holding out a bottle of water towards him. John snatched it, removing the top, then taking a sip.  
Then abruptly spitting it out again, right into Jack's face.  
“What the heeeeeell?!” came Jack's sputtered reply, coughing a little as some of the water had gotten inside of his mouth.  
“Tastes funny,” John replied, smacking his lips together a few times.  
“It's water! It doesn't have a taste!”  
“Yeah, but it does.”  
“You just wanted to spit it in my face, didn't you?”  
“Added bonus, but no.  
Well yes.  
But it wasn't planned.”  
“Wasn't planned. Suuuuuuure.” Jack took the water bottle away from John, taking a sip of his own. And let it fall straight out again with a little gag sounding from his throat.  
“......tastes funny.”  
“Think it could be poisoned?  
Or maybe it's the atmosphere.  
Never trust a atmosphere.”  
“Never trust a atmosphere?” Jack asked, voice sounding as if he just heard the most strange thing ever said.  
John shrugged, taking the bottle again and taking a sip, forcing the liquid down.  
“Why the HELL are you still drinking it?”  
“I'm thirsty. What's the worst that could happen?”


	3. Part Two

“You doing alright there, John?”  
“Peachy. How much further is it anyway?”  
“Not much further.”  
“You keep saying that.”  
“Yeah, but this time it's true.”  
He'd drank about half of the water from the bottle, which had been two hours ago.  
No complications.  
Well, until now.  
John stalled, face paling. Staggering a little.  
“What.. what the hell?”  
“John?”  
“There's people here, Jack. I.. think I know them. I mean.. they seem familiar.”  
Jack looked around, a frown forming. “There's.. no one here, John.”  
“No, they're right there.” He gestured a hand towards the two people.  
A woman and a man.  
Peering closer, his eyes widened.  
“I think.. I think they're my parents?  
But that's.. that's impossible.  
They disappeared.”  
“What are you TALKING about? There's no one here. John. John!”  
John's head snapped up, eyes unable to focus. Almost as if in a trance.  
“John! Hey! Snap out of it! I KNEW you shouldn't have drank the water.”  
And then, all at once, they had vanished.  
John squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, shaking his head.  
“That was.. strange.”  
“Strange? Try 'you're a fucking dumbass'! 'Oh, I'm thirsty, let's drink this strange tasting water, what's the worst that could happen'.”  
“Yeah, I get it, not my smartest idea.  
But it seems to be over now.”  
“Yeah, until the next time you space out like that.  
What was that shit about your parents?”  
John just shrugged a little.  
“Must have been a hallucination. Let's keep moving.  
The faster we move, the quicker we're there, the quicker we can join in.”  
“Join in?”  
“The gangbang. I could use a good shag.  
I hope they have something to drink too.”  
“W o w.”

Two more hours, and they were still walking.  
“We're almost there, he said. It's not much further, he said.”  
“Okay! So I ( m i g h t ) have been a ( l i t t l e ) off.”  
“We've been walking for six hours!”  
“Yeah, but the sun is out?” Jack replied, a apologetic grin on his lips.  
John had been about to reply, when he stopped dead in his tracks.  
“They're back. Jack, they're back.”  
And, sure enough, there stood his parents.  
“John. Focus. They're not real. It's just another hallucination.”  
But they seemed so real to him. And they were looking right at him.  
Pointing at him? Why were they pointing at him?  
He moved to point at his own chest as if to ask 'me?', then turned around.  
And, behind him, he saw eighteen year old John Hart.  
“John. What are you seeing?”  
“It's.. me.”  
The eighteen year old John Hart was very clearly drunk and drugged.  
And brandishing a knife.  
“John, it's not real. It's fake. Focus on me, alright? Focus on me!” Jack snapped his fingers a couple of times, but John's gaze remained fixed on his younger self.  
It was as if the air around him was starting to clear his mind.  
Was starting to make him realise.  
And, once again, just like that, they were gone again.  
What was going on?  
“Come on, we have to get out of here,” Jack told him. “I'm sure we're really almost there now.”  
He had walked over to John, hand reaching to take his into his own.  
John looked over at him, a frown on his face. “Yeah, let's keep going..”


	4. Part Three

“You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?” John threw a glare Jack's way.  
By now, they had been walking for about 7 hours.  
“I don't understand it either! Last time I was here, it didn't take NEARLY this long!  
And.. now that I'm thinking about it, last time it l o o k e d different too...”  
“ . . You didn't.”  
“Oooooooh boy, I'm afraid I did. Haha! Wrong planet! This explains SO much!”  
“I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you.”  
“Now, hold on a minute.” Jack let out a apologetic laugh. “Just because we're on the wrong planet, doesn't mean we can't use it to our advantage.  
“Oh. sure. The atmosphere is horrible. The water is probably poisoned. I keep seeing my dead parents. What an advantage!”  
“Let's just keep going for a liiiiittle longer, alright?”  
John had been about to reply, but a sound coming from the distance distracted both of them.  
“Did you hear that?” John asked.  
“Yeah. I just don't know what it WAS that I heard. It almost sounded.. human.  
But.. not human, you know?”  
“So.. we're looking for a non-human human. Got it.”  
The sound came again, and Jack had already broken out into a run.  
“Jack, wait. Jaaaaaack!” John started to run as well, the backpack heavy on his shoulder.  
Once Jack stopped running again, they were standing in front of what looked like a building of sorts.  
“It's coming from inside of there. Might be able to kick the door in.”  
And so he did. Three times. Without result.  
“Here, let me try,” John told him.  
“With all due respect, John, if I can't do it, you can't ei—oh.”  
John had pulled the door open, giving Jack a deadpan expression.  
Apparently, even on a different planet, they had push/pull signs stuck on the doors.  
“Absolute dumbasses first,” John said, his voice almost too polite, smirking as he bowed a little.  
“ . . Shut up,” Jack replied, before walking through the door. “I wonder why it wasn't lock—aaaand that's a body.” Lying in front of him, on the floor, was a humanoid body. Humanoid, before instead of ears, it had horns. Jack knelt down next to it, feeling for a pulse.  
Nothing.  
It was also.. eerily silent.  
“Part of me says we should leave,” John observed. “But, then again, we just got here, and I don't really fancy walking all the way back again. Maybe they've got a vehicle hidden around here somewhere.”  
John started to walk, then stopped dead in his tracks.  
“You're seeing them again, don't you?” Jack asked, to which John merely nodded.  
“More clearly than before.”  
A sound snapped him out of it, though.  
The sound of footsteps.  
John immediately pulled out his guns.  
A beautiful woman stepped into view.  
A beautiful woman with bright green eyes.  
No, seriously, both of her eyes were green,  
Every single bit.  
“Looks humanoid. Beautiful green eyes.  
Captain Jack Harkness, and who are you?” He added a wink, but the green eyed lady didn't seem impressed. “Not the reaction I expected. Then again, you don't see a almost exact replica of a deceased horned woman, do you?” He indicated the body lying crumpled on the floor.  
“So, shapeshifter. Green eyes. Let me guess, your true form resembles a jellyfish, doesn't it?”  
“Very good. Very good, indeed.” The woman smirked slightly, before her shape seemed to morph, turning into a floating green jellyfish. Significantly larger than a regular jellyfish.  
“What the fuck is that?” John asked, staring right at the creature.  
“That, John, is what they call a Rutan. Ma'am? Sir?”  
“We do not appreciate you barging in like this. This is our private property.” The creature spoke, but it did not appear to have a mouth to let the words out.  
“T h e y ! Of course! Rutans are non-binary,” he explained, as he looked at John.  
“Or they're a hive-mind. Always slips my mind.”  
By now, John had gotten distracted once again, looking past the Rutan.  
“Aaaaaand they're back again.”  
The Rutan let out a string of sounds, which almost resembled a laugh of sorts.  
“Care to share with the class?” Jack asked.  
“He drank something, didn't he?” The Rutan sounded.. somewhat amused.  
“So it really WAS the water, huh? Did you do something to it, somehow?”  
“We did not do anything. It is the atmosphere.”  
“The a t m o s p h e r e ! ” Jack exclaimed. “What about the atmosphere?”  
“It is.. let's say poisonous. It makes you r e m e m b e r. But only if you absorb it through the water contaminated by our planet.”  
“Okay, two things. 1. How was it contaminated. It didn't come from here.  
And 2. Y o u r planet? Sweetheart, this isn't your planet.”  
“We were stranded, many years ago. We made it our planet.” The Rutan looked down at the woman lying on the floor.  
“And.. instead of sharing the planet, you've decided to, what, kill the actual inhabitants?”  
“Something like that.  
As for the water, it contaminated the moment you opened the bottle.”  
John was still staring past the Rutan.  
“You okay there, John?”  
“I'm fine.”  
Jack's eyes went from John, to the backpack slung over John's shoulder.  
“There's no way you're gonna let us go, is there?” he asked the Rutan.  
“Of course not.”  
“Well, then I've got no shame using this!”  
He moved over towards John, pulled the backpack from his shoulder, zipped it open, and pulled out something heavy. It was....not what he had expected.


	5. Part Four

“Is that—”  
“I think it is—”  
“Oh no, I grabbed the wrong backpack, didn't I—”  
“I think you did—”  
“I can't believe it's—”  
Clutched in Jack's hands wasn't a weapon, which he had expected to come out of the backpack.  
What had come out was something entirely different.  
“—a coffee machine.”  
The Rutan seemed to stare at them, seeming.. confused.  
“Okay, I can work with this—”  
“What are you gonna do, make it a cappuccino?”  
“I'm working on it! Uuuuuuuh.”  
The Rutan seemed to get bored, electricity starting to crackle on its body.  
“Oh no you don't!” Jack shouted, before throwing the coffee machine right at it, adding some sort of a warrior yell.  
The coffee machine.. landed a few inches in front of it.  
“—It was heavy!” he exclaimed, as John just stared at him, pulling up an eyebrow.  
“Any other clever ideas? Cause I've got a few.” John aimed the gun at the Rutan, about to shoot it. And then dropped the gun as his eyes had gone wider.  
“John?”  
The Rutan let out a string of strange laughs again.  
“He remembers,” it teased.  
“What does he remember?”  
“Oh, all we know is that it makes you remember the most terrible thing you have ever done.  
And it breaks you. It doesn't work on us, but we have seen it happen. To travelers such as yourselves.”  
“It didn't work on me, though,” Jack said. He wasn't sure whether it was because of his immortality. Or because he'd simply seen too much already.  
“Your friend is in the final stages,” the Rutan said, almost gleefully.  
“Not much longer, and he will have properly broken apart.”  
Jack glanced over to him. John was now staring straight ahead, tears having formed in his eyes.  
“It was me—”  
“What was you? John, speak to me.” Jack kept his eyes on the Rutan, but occassionally glanced over to John, making sure he wouldn't do something stupid.  
“F- for years I've been wondering where they'd gone.  
Hating them for leaving me behind.”  
“John, what are you t a l k i n g about—”  
“My p a r e n t s, Jack. They're gone because of me. Because I.. killed them—”  
He could see it all so clearly now.  
He could see his parents, frightened beyond their wits.  
And he could see eighteen year old him, drunk, drugged, and pushing a knife deep inside of their throats.  
“They're hallucinations. They're NOT real.”  
“But it IS real! I remember it now!  
Oh god..”  
Jack wasn't clear on what to do, and instead took John's face in both hands, pressing his lips against the man's lips in the hope of snapping him out of it.  
“Okay, maybe it IS real. But you gotta hold on, John.  
I can't have you die on me, alright?  
Too many people have died already.”  
Think. Jack had to think. And quickly.  
Electricity. Water. Those did not mix.  
And they had.. a coffee machine.  
S t e a m.  
He acted fast, dragging John towards the coffee machine.  
Pouring in the last of the water.  
Lucky for them the machine worked on batteries, and it immediately started to heat up the water.  
That's when he kicked the coffee machine, so it would break open, then yanked the steam boiler out. It was hot, burning his hand. But he ignored the pain.  
“Steam boiler, you tentacle bitch!” he shouted, before hurling it over to the Rutan.  
And watching it casually bounce off.  
“ . . Did I say 'tentacle bitch'? Heh. I meant.. uuuuuuuuuuuuuh.”  
John wanted to d o something.  
Wanted to help.  
His gun, when it had fallen, had landed next to the backpack, and he moved to walk over towards it, stumbling as he did so. Trying to ignore the pain he could feel inside of his head.  
Everything was spinning, and at the next step he took, his feet got tangled together a little, causing him to trip, landing right next to the backpack.  
Jack called out for him, running over to his side. Helping him back up.  
Then picked up the backpack, hoping to god there was something else in there he could use.  
What he pulled out was, honestly, exactly what he had expected to find.  
A bag of coffee grounds, neatly tied closed.  
“It's not like we got anything better—” he noted, before opening the bag, running over towards the Rutan, and hoping, PRAYING, that somehow it was allergic to coffee, or something.  
He threw it empty straight into the Rutan's face. Did it HAVE a face? Jack wasn't certain.  
And the Rutan? The Rutan actually s c r e e c h e d.  
“Wait, that worked? HAH! IT WORKED!  
HAHA! IS THAT BREW TOO STRONG FOR YA?”  
Jack was g r i n n i n g a victorious grin, then seemed to remember that John was still there, leaving the smoldering Rutan as he turned around, rushing over to him.  
John had sunk to his knees, shaking, face pressed into his hands.  
“John. John, look at me. Hey, look at me.” He removed John's hands from his face, then stroked a hand over his cheek, before hooking a thumb under his chin, forcing him to look him directly in the eyes. “You're gonna make it. You're gonna get through this. Alright?”  
“I feel like.. I'm exploding. No.. not exploding.. i m p l o d i n g.  
Everything.. everything h u r t s, Jack.” His eyes shifted in and out of focus, hands trying to find something to hold on to. It found Jack's shoulders, clutching onto them tightly.  
“Well, at least I.. I had a god run, right?”  
“Stop, okay? Just.. stop. You're not going to die, John, I won't let you.”  
He leaned in to kiss his lips again, palm of his hand resting against the side of his neck, fingers brushing his cheek, the other hand gripping onto the back of his neck, trying to force back tears.  
“Don't die,” he said. It almost sounded like a command, his voice almost having a whimper to it.  
“I don't think I can hold on much longer..” John admitted. “All I can think about is.. well, you know. What I did.”  
Jack let out something that almost sounded like a sniffle.  
And then he abruptly pulled away from John.  
“Wait a minute. Wait a minute!  
OH! I'm so STUPID!” Hope was now clearly showing in Jack's eyes.  
“How could I forget?!” His hand dug inside of the pocket of his coat, pulling out a tiny metal box.  
“What's that?” John questioned, before groaning as he could feel his head aching more and more with every second.  
“It's Retcon!  
Well, technically it's Retcon 2.0.  
It's an experimental version.  
Supposed to make you forget only one particular thing of your own choosing.”  
“Have you used it before?”  
“You know, I can't remember.” A dumb smile had formed on Jack's lips because of his own little joke. “Sorry, probably not the time for jokes right now.”  
A very faint smile had formed on John's lips, but he almost immediately groaned in pain again.  
“I don't want to force you to take it, but if you don't.. you will die.” Jack hesitated. “It's.. your choice, though.”  
John hesitated at first, but then held out his hand. “I don't want to die.”  
Jack let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, before placing it in the palm of the other male's hand. John looked at it, before putting it into his mouth.  
Then g a g g e d. “Couldn't have given it a better flavor, could you? This tastes worse than the w a t e r.”  
“Focus, John.  
Think about what you want to forget.  
Focus on the memory.  
Focus on it hard, Hart.  
Sorry, that was lame.”  
John let out a small laugh, before closing his eyes.  
Focusing.  
And, just like that, he didn't know what he was focusing on.  
Almost like when you walk into a room to get something, and then forget what you wanted to get. “This is.. strange. What.. what was I saying just now?”  
“Oh, nothing important,” Jack told him, a soft smile forming on his lips.  
John looked up at him, then forced himself up to his feet. Stumbling a little.  
“Now,” Jack said, “This is important. What DO you remember?”  
John glanced around, before pointing a finger at a heap of steaming.. was it flesh?  
Was that what they were made of?  
“That is—well, that WAS—a Rutan.  
And we somehow killed it with coffee.”  
“Not everyone's build for caffeine—”  
John laughed at Jack's comment.  
“Well, one thing's for certain.  
Eye-Candy's NOT going to be pleased when he figured out where his coffee machine went to.”  
“Yeah, we definitely haven't heard the last of that.”  
“I don't know about you, but I don't really fancy having to walk all the way back.  
There MUST be a vehicle hidden around here somewhere.  
Or a nice secluded room. For other activities.” John winked, which caused Jack to l a u g h.  
“This is not the time for that.”  
“There's always a time for that.  
But suit yourself.  
Let's go find a way back that ISN'T us walking for S E V E N H O U R S.”  
“Are you s t i l l salty about that?” Jack asked, laughing again.  
“Let's put it this way.  
I would sooner murder every single person on every single planet than walk all the way back again.”  
“We better go find a vehicle then. And fast.”


	6. Epilogue

“How did you casually take the wrong backpack?!”  
The upset, angry shouting came from Ianto, who had only found out a couple hours ago about the fact that his travel coffee machine had been used as a weapon against the Rutan.  
“Yeah, heh, we were in a hurry, and they looked SO much ALIKE—” Jack was saying nervously.  
An angry Welsh? S c a r y !  
“You should have d o u b l e c h e c k e d !”  
“It did save our lives?  
Who knew coffee beans were poisonous to Rutans, huh??”  
“Jack, I'm done with the tests,” came Owen's interrupting voice.  
Ianto was just glaring at Jack. But then let out a sigh.  
Jack moved to pat Ianto on the cheek, before moving to follow Owen to the lab.  
John was lying down on the examination table, almost in a somewhat seductive pose.  
Seeming even more seductive since his shirt was off.  
He was hooked up to some medical equipment, one of which was a heart monitor.  
Another one was reading his brain activity.  
“Right,” Owen began.“Everything seems normal.  
Normal heart rate.  
Brain activity.. let's call it normal for h i m.  
I swear to god, I've wanted to bludgeon him to death at LEAST three times.”  
“You and me both, Owen,” Jack replied. “You and me both.”  
“I wouldn't call him h e a l t h y, exactly.  
But there's nothing you wouldn't expect.  
No trauma.  
No bleeding in places he shouldn't bleed.  
No unusual brain activity.”  
“So the Retcon 2.0 was a success?” Jack asked. “We really need a better name for it.  
Ianto!” he called out loudly. “Any suggestions?!”  
“Forget Meds!” came the reply from somewhere else in the Hub. “Short for Forgetting Medicine!”  
“Gotcha!”  
Owen just gazed at him. “Forget Meds? S e r i o u s l y ? T h a t ' s what you're going with?”  
“What? It's catchy.”  
“Forget meds. That's what I call 'tequila',” John added.  
“Right!” Jack clapped John on the back, who had sat up by now.  
“Yeah, I best be on my way now, huh?  
Until next time, I guess.” He hopped off from the examination table, planting a teasing kiss to Jack's lip, not caring that Owen was r i g h t there. Clapping Jack on the cheek once.  
Before leaving the Hub, Jack and Owen watching him leave.  
“Does he know?”  
“That I know exactly what it is that he forgot?” Jack asked. “No. And he never will.”


End file.
